


in the end, we'll meet

by MxBBadperson



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society (Homestuck), Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Karkat Vantas, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Reincarnation, this au is angst and dirk giving karkat multiple orgasms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-19 13:09:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29999832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MxBBadperson/pseuds/MxBBadperson
Summary: It hurt, no matter how many times they did this, it still hurt. It hurt to think about killing and it hurt to do it. Every single meeting was a relief and every goodbye a pain. And they had done this for so long.
Relationships: Dirk Strider/Karkat Vantas
Kudos: 3





	1. with world-pervading voice, make proclamation

Kankri limped slowly towards his death. Everything hurts, the shackles around his wrists and ankles too heavy to lift. There was a crowd around him. There were murmuring. He breathed in, trying to clear his mind. He turned his head to look at the crowd. His mom wasn’t there, neither was Meulin or Mituna. That was good. Kankri’s chest was light with relief.  
  
The executioner yanked on the rope. Kankri stumbled then continued walking. He was cold, dirty and hungry. It should have been easy to deal with. He had always known that something like this would happen. He was the Speaker, death was always close by. He had always _known_. But it wasn’t easy to bear, not then, not now.  
  
They stopped in front of a wooden post. The executioner grabbed his hands and pulled them up, tying it to the post so they would be above his head. Kankri looked at the distance with unseeing eyes.  
  
To die humiliated and ashamed, was this the only death he would have? Was he not allowed to die old and surrounded by the ones he loved? The executioner tied Kankri’s legs to the post then stepped back. There was a hitch of breath then a sob. Kankri blinked.  
  
He was standing in a field. The dirt was white, whatever grass he could see was brown and the sky was covered by dark gray clouds. There was another sob. Kankri whirled around, searching for the source. His eyes landed on a figure on the ground. It was small and wore a faded black cloak. Kankri’s expression softened. He stepped forward then knelt down. ‘It’ll be okay,’ he said gently. His hand hovered over the figure. His eyes widened. The figure had short, nubby horns. It was _him_.  
  
He was on his knees and he was crying, red tears streaming down his face. Kankri’s hand landed on his shoulder. The figure looked up. Kankri’s eyes widened. He looked at him in horror. He was young, he was so _young_. He wasn’t a pupa but he was still so young. Kankri laid his other hand on the troll’s shoulder then pulled him closer. Kankri hushed them, rubbing his hand up and down the troll’s back. The young troll cried harder.  
  
Kankri didn’t know how long he was kneeling. The troll didn’t stop crying. Above them, there was a light. Kankri looked up. It was a streak of light coming towards the earth. Lights appeared across the sky. Kankri looked at it horrified. The stars were falling like tears. Something in Kankri made him look around. Something caught his eye. He looked at it.  
  
There was someone walking towards them. It was a human and there was a sword in his hand. He looked at them warily. The human stopped behind the young troll. They unsheathed their sword. Kankri tensed. He pulled the young troll closer. The young troll looked up then around. He shook off Kankri’s hands. 'Hey!’ Kankri said alarmed.  
  
The young troll turned around. He looked up at the human then got on his hands and knees. 'What are you fucking doing?!’ Kankri said horrified. The young troll shuffled to the human on his knees. The human crouched down.  
  
They had fair hair and eyes like an amber field of grain. They wiped the tears off the troll’s face then laid their hand it. Their expression was soft and sad. The young troll gasped as the swords sank into them.  
  
'No!’ Kankri shouted. He lunged, hands landing in the troll’s cloak. The human glared at him. They pulled the troll close and wrapped their arm around them. Bright red blood dripped onto the ground.  
  
Kankri stared at them. Someone was panting. With a jolt, he realized that he could hear the young troll breathe. Slowly, so slowly, his breathing slowed then stopped. Kankri reached for him. He was dead, his face peaceful. He looked happy. Kankri looked at the human.  
  
The human stared back, expression grim. The human laid the young troll on his chest then put his chin on the top of troll’s head. He sighed. Kankri blinked. He was staring into space.  
  
That was him, he had seen him. He had seen him die. He died young and scared with only his killer for company and comfort. That was so fucking _unfair_. Kankri opened his mouth and started Speaking.  
  
 _'Listen!’_ he shouted. The crowd went silent. He didn’t know what was happening._'Listen to me! I am his Speaker, his Herald and I say to you all, he will come!’! Words were spilling from his mouth and he couldn’t stop.  
  
 _'He will come! The bringer of the end. He will walk among us and the ground will turn barren and the waters will rise. There will be rain, of water, of ice, of fire. The stars will fall. He will die! But that will not stop him! He will die and he will live again, he will die and he will die again! The end will come for he is beloved by death.’  
  
_ Kankri gasped, shoulders shaking. His mouth snapped shut. The words had dried up and there was no urge to talk. The crowd exploded. There were shouting at him. Something hit Kankri’s shoulder. They were throwing things at him. Kankri curled into himself as much as he could. The executioner shouted at the crowd and the crowd’s voice lowered.  
  
The executioner beckoned. An archer stepped forward. He notched an arrow onto the bow then pulled the arrow back. He took aim. The arrow landed in Kankri’s side. He breathed out. It didn’t hurt at all. The archer notched another arrow. There was a shout. Kankri blinked then looked up. His eyes widened, mouth going slack. Through the crowd, he could see Meulin. Beside her was Mituna and his mom.  
  
They fought through the crowd. Porrim had brought her chainsaw, Meulin had her claws and Mituna used his psionics to pick them up then throw them away. They broke through the crowd.  
  
They ran to Kankri. Porrim faced the crowd, chainsaw held high. The chains were covered in blue and red light then snapped. Kankri fell but he didn’t reach the ground. Meulin caught him. She put her arm under his back and knees then stood up. 'Let’s go!’ Meulin shouted. Porrim turned sharply on her heel and they ran away.  
  
Kankri stared ahead. The crowd got smaller and smaller. He breathed out, voice hitching. He sobbed. Meulin kissed his forehead. 'It’ll be alright,’ she whispered. Kankri nodded. He laid his head on her shoulder.  
  
Death will come one day, for him and them. But maybe, just maybe, he can die old and surrounded by the ones he loved. And maybe, he can meet him. He can meet him and comfort him as he died. Kankri closed his eyes. He let himself sleep.


	2. my twisted knife, my sleepless night, my win-less fight

Dirk stilled his hips. He stared down at Karkat. He pressed a kiss against the back of Karkat's head. His back stung because of the scratches. Here he was again. In a shack in the middle of nowhere with Karkat and in him. He moved his hips back then moved them forward. Karkat moaned. Dirk leaned forward and his hand curled around one of Karkat's horn gently. Karkat gripped the sheets, helpless. He fucked Karkat slow and steady. Karkat whimpered. 'Dirk,' he whined.   
  
'I'm right here,' Dirk said into his ear. There was tears clinging to Karkat's lashed and sweat on Dirk's brow. He had missed this. He missed being with him and right here, right now. All he wanted was to tie him to this bed. Fuck the rest of the world. Dirk wrapped his hand gently around Karkat's face. He turned it towards him. He kissed him. The kiss broke and Dirk ran a finger across Karkat's bottom lip.   
  
Dirk felt Karkat's shoulder's tense. 'Come on,' he whispered, 'come on, come on, come on.'  
  
Karkat whined. He came. Red flowed around Dirk and stained the bed. Karkat slumped onto the bed, panting. Dirk leaned down. He nosed at Karkat's nape, hips still moving slowly. 'Want to fuck you until it hurts,' he murmured. Dirk pulled out then rolled Karkat over. Karkat looked up at him. He wrapped his arms around Dirk's neck. They kissed. Dirk sighed into it. He slid into Karkat.   
  
Karkat's breath hitched. They kept kissing, easy and slow as Dirk fucked Karkat. His hips moved back then slammed back in. He picked up the pace, fucking him faster. Dirk wanted to dig in and pull him deeper, wanted to devour. Dirk met Karkat's eyes. Karkat whimpered burying his face in Dirk's shoulder. He held on.   
  
Dirk kept going. He didn't know if he could actually do that but he fucking wanted to. He wanted to make this meeting count. He slammed down and Karkat gasped. He came with a shudder, more red flowed around. Karkat's nook fluttered around him. Dirk kept moving, fucking him through it. He could hear himself pant. His hips stilled. He had to calm down. His hand moved up to sink into Karkat's hair, his other hand wrapping around him.   
  
Dirk heard Karkat's breathing slowly. He rolled his hip against Karkat's. Karkat's breath hiccupped. Dirk kissed the side of his head. 'Shh,' he said quietly. Karkat bit his lip and swallowed another hiccup. Dirk moved against him, slow and uneven. He was tired but he was willing to try. Karkat's toes curled, heels sliding against the sheets. It didn't take it long for him to come. Dirk sighed and pressed closer. He followed. He breathed out and slumped onto the bed. Karkat didn't react. He didn't even let go. Dirk was glad for that.  
  
He breathed out. He laid beside Karkat. The bed was wet but it didn't matter for long. They'd leave soon enough. Dirk stared at the ceiling. Karkat would leave and he'd have to spend the rest of his live like nothing had happened. Like all the other times before. Karkat lifted his head. 'Are you ok?' he asked.   
  
Dirk snapped out of it. 'Yeah, just thinking. Are you ok?' he answered.  
  
Karkat laid his cheek Dirk's shoulder. 'Yeah,' he said softly, 'where did you learn those words?'   
  
Dirk blinked. 'What?'  
  
'Where did you learn to say that?' Karkat repeated. Dirk rolled over. He stared at Karkat incredulous. 'What?' Karkat asked confused.  
  
'Have you not hear things like that before?' Dirk asked.   
  
'No. Where would I hear things like that?'   
  
'Really?'   
  
'Yeah, I’ve never slept with anyone before,’ Karkat admitted. Dirk nodded. Right, being the one who caused the apocalypse never left him time to get close to anyone. 'Dirk?' Karkat asked. Dirk stared at him. _Oh._ Karkat had never slept with anyone before. He was his first and his lost. He kissed Karkat. Karkat returned it. The kiss broke.   
  
Dirk stared at Karkat. A thought came to him. He didn’t have to tell Karkat but keeping that from him felt inconsequential. 'I slept with someone before,' Dirk said slowly, 'I slept with several people before.' In one life, he had lost himself to hedonism. He had spent his money on drink and drugs and sharing his bed with too many people that he lost count. He had taken anyone he liked, even sharing his bed with more than a few women. It had all come to a stop when he met Karkat by chance. It was embarrassing to think about.   
  
Karkat came to him, calling his name. Karkat had remembered him then but he hadn't remembered Karkat. In hindsight, he was there to ask for death. But right then, he had thought him one of the people who came to him for whatever reason but he didn’t mind. He hadn’t remembered him but there was something about Karkat that felt familiar. He had flirted with him, had invited him to his bed. Karkat refused. He was disappointed and it had shaken something in him.   
  
He chased after him. He took all of his riches and followed him everywhere he went. He left the drink and the drugs and even his bed. He had left the companionship behind. He had abandoned his life. He had thought of him so much that eventually, the thoughts of him consumed him. Dirk grimaced. ‘What?’ Karkat asked worriedly.  
  
Dirk breathed out. 'I wasn’t a very good person in one of my previous lives,’ he admitted. He had thought of having him, of cornering him and chaining him. That thought of breaking him. All to get what he wanted, all to get what pleasure he wanted to have. 'One of the reasons I killed you wasn’t because of duty.’ He wanted to kill him because he saw no other way. 'I just wanted to have you,’ Dirk admitted. He had killed him them then out of jealous rage. Karkat was supposed to be _his_ , no one could take him from him. Even himself.  
  
'It doesn’t matter,’ Karkat said, 'that isn’t you anymore.’  
  
Dirk breathed out. His shoulders relaxed. 'I still remember it.’  
  
'I know,’ Karkat said softly, 'the memories never going away so we just have to deal with it. We just have to try to not be them.’  
  
'Thanks for saying “we”.’ Dirk said. Karkat never did anything like that, he didn’t have time to. He sat down next to Karkat. He was warm, so warm and _real_.   
  
'And about what you said,’ Karkat said, Dirk turned to him, 'it’s ok if your slept with someone before.’  
  
'Really?’ Dirk asked.  
  
'Yeah. I don’t expect you to remember me each time and I don’t expect you to wait for either. So it’s ok. Really,’ Karkat said softly.   
  
'Hearing you say that doesn’t actually make me feel better,’ Dirk muttered. He thought about it. 'I think I wanted you to be angry or maybe even upset,’ he said quietly.  
  
'I can get angry about it if you want me to,’ Karkat offered.  
  
Dirk smiled. He shook his head. 'Thanks. I’ll tell you when I want you to be angry.’ His eyes roamed Karkat’s face. 'I wanted to have you,’ he confessed, 'I wanted to keep you. I remember that I was told about my previous lives. I was so angry. Even if it was me, I didn’t want any part of me, past or future, to have you. I thought it was love.’  
  
His hand came away from Karkat’s face. Karkat reached out and grabbed it. 'I don’t know if I love you,’ Dirk admitted.  
  
'Good, I hope you never do,' Karkat said. Dirk swallowed. It was painful. 'I wish you fall in love with someone. I wish that you get married and you spend your whole life with them in happiness. I wish that you’re never lonely,’ Karkat whispered.  
  
'Yeah,’ Dirk answered hoarsely. A small smile bloomed on Karkat's face. Dirk curled his hand around Karkat's cheek. The stars wouldn’t fall just yet, they still had time. He still had time before he had to kill him.

* * *

  
  
Dirk cleaned his blade. In front of him, the pyre burned. They did have time. Only two days. Dirk smiled, it was tired and empty. Would he only have this? Short days that fly by so quickly? He put his blade back in its sheath. He set in on his lap. He stared at the pyre.  
  
Karkat had wished him to find someone but he already had. He had wished him to get married and spend his whole life in happiness but Dirk didn’t want that. He wanted to be happy but not with a someone else. That life, he had been a selfish man. He had wanted to hurt him to keep him and Dirk didn’t want that. But there was something in that selfishness.  
  
What if he did stay with Karkat? What if he did keep him? What if he kept him _alive_? What if he did tie him down to a bed? Fuck the rest of the world. It would damn the world but why did that matter?   
  
He smiled again, this one was no less tired but had the tiniest sliver of fondness. 'It really is just like you. I kill you but you leave me with a scar,’ he murmured. His grip on the blade tightened. Dirk licked his lips. He opened his mouth.   
  
'I wish that I remember. I wish that I’ll get to him in time. I wish to have more time,’ Dirk whispered. He stayed until the pyre stopped burning. He didn't look at the sky even once. The stars had stopped failing hours after Karkat died. He didn’t want to look at the sky, at the stars. They were ugly.


	3. Chapter 3

Dirk put the ship on autopilot then pushed the chair back. He stood up, turning. He went to the cot. He knelt down. Karkat was sleeping, eyebrows furrowed. When did he last sleep without it? Dirk didn’t remember. And wasn’t that something, all those years he caught glimpses of him, whatever time he spent with him, he had never seen him truly happy. And it had been so many years, it had been centuries and centuries and not an ounce of true happiness.   
  
Dirk laid his hand on the handle of his katana. Maybe he won’t need this anymore. But he didn’t let himself hope. He pulled it out of his belt. Dirk sat down by Karkat’s head. He laid his back against the wall and laid his sword on the floor. He didn’t close his eyes, keeping them on Karkat.  
  
How long had it been since he had seen him? Fifty years ago. He had died at twenty-nine last time and he hadn’t seen him, hadn’t looked at his face even once. Whether because they had done this so many times or the want to remember, he had remembered Karkat early. He had searched for him but he never found him. Karkat had ended it by himself. It wasn’t the first time and while it was a relief to not be the one to kill him, it still hurt to think that he died without him there.  
  
It hurt, no matter how many times they did this, it still hurt. It hurt to think about killing and it hurt to do it. Every single meeting was a relief and every goodbye a pain. And they had done this for so long. They had done this for so long, it had been centuries and centuries and now the world had reached technology that took them off-world. Maybe this could help, maybe this could even be the solution.  
  
Karkat stirred. Dirk’s eyes widened and he straightened. He waited. Karkat sat up. He looked around slowly. Their eyes met. Dirk opened his mouth. Nothing came out. He closed his mouth. A lump had suddenly appeared in his throat and his tongue felt heavy. What would he say? What should he say? What  _ can _ he say? This felt so familiar. This felt like the very first time they met, two boys in the middle of nowhere. One was in tears and the other confused.    
  
‘Hi,’ Dirk managed to say.   
  
‘Dirk?’ Karkat asked quietly. Something in Dirk shivered and he followed. He hadn’t heard his name said by him for so long.    
  
Dirk reached for him. ‘Karkat,’ he said, torn. Karkat laid his hand on Dirk’s. Dirk’s breath out in a rush then he pulled Karkat close. Karkat didn’t struggle. Even if Dirk brought him here to kill him, he would *never* hurt him. Karkat breathed in. He buried his head in Dirk’s shoulder. Here he was safe. Safe from the world and safe from the calamity he would bring to it.    
  
Dirk wrapped his arm around Karkat. He had held him like this before but it was before he would push the sword into him. Karkat rested his cheek against Dirk’s chest. Dirk was always so *solid* and it was always a comfort. It was nice to be held. There was only the creak of metal and the sound of their breaths.    
  
‘Is this real?’ Karkat whispered.    
  
‘Yes,  _ yes _ , it’s real,’ Dirk answered.   
  
‘I’m glad,’ Karkat said. Dirk shifted. He laid back against the wall, dragging Karkat onto his lap. Karkat went. ‘What are we doing here?’    
  
Dirk breathed out. How could he explain this? ‘Roxy had an idea,’ he started, ‘this whole thing is tied with you.’ Tied to him existing and living long enough to bring it. ‘So they had an idea that if it’s tied to you, if you’re not there anymore, it won’t happen.’   
  
Karkat frowned. ‘Is it true?’   
  
‘I don’t know but we’ll see,’ Dirk said. He hoped that this could be the solution. So much for not letting himself hope. Karkat lifted his head. ‘What’s wrong?’ Dirk asked.    
  
‘Nothing,’ Karkat answered. He curled his hand around Dirk’s bicep. Dirk shivered. Karkat was always so warm. Karkat shifted. He slid off Dirk’s lap to kneel on the cot. He turned, pulling Dirk. Karkat laid back down on the cot and Dirk went. He stared down at Karkat. Karkat’s eyes weren’t red yet. He was young. They both were. Nineteen yet so much older. He took off his shades and set them aside. Dirk leaned down.   
  
He kissed Karkat. It was a simple press of lips against lips but it soothed something in Dirk. It always did. He broke the kiss and leaned back. He brought his other hand up to Karkat’s face. His finger traced Karkat’s features. He had done this many times before and he had wished to do it again every time they parted. Karkat turned his head, he pressed a kiss against Dirk’s palm. His hands moved.    
  
He laid his hand on Dirk’s chest. Dirk’s hand moved lower and sideways. He pressed his fingers against Karkat’s pulse. He felt it thudding against his fingertips. Karkat moved his hand down, it reached the hem of Dirk’s shirt and moved under it. His hand moved up across Dirk’s torso. With regret, Dirk moved his hand away and unwrapped his other arm from Karkat. He straightened on his knees. Karkat turned to the side. He took off his hoodie and shirt, not caring if he left them on the floor. Dirk took off his shirt. He returned to Karkat.    
  
Dirk pressed his fingers against Karkat’s pulse while his other hand curled around one of Karkat’s horns. Karkat was here and he wasn’t going to die. Karkat and Dirk curled around each other. Karkat intertwined his fingers with Dirk. Dirk laid his hand on Karkat’s hair, tangling his fingers through it. ‘You went with me. Did you even think about it?’    
  
‘No. I didn’t need to,’ Karkat answered, ‘I trust you.’   
  
Dirk swallowed. ‘You shouldn’t,’ he said hoarsely.    
  
‘I know but I do. I know you’ll never hurt me,’ Karkat said.    
  
‘ _ That’s not true _ . All I do is hurt you,’ Dirk said. Karkat moved, slipping out of his grasp. Dirk looked at him lost. Karkat straddled Dirk. Dirk looked up at him. He rested his hands on Karkat’s waist.    
Karkat leaned down. He laid his forehead against Dirk’s and looked into his eyes. ‘You’ve killed me but I know that you won’t hurt me,’ he said against Dirk’s lips.    
  
Dirk’s eyes shone with tears. He blinked them away. He leaned up and kissed Karkat. Karkat returned it. They kissed slowly and easily but on the edge of desperation. They broke apart. ‘What if it doesn’t work?’ Karkat asked. Dirk’s mouth set into a line. ‘You don’t have to stop me.’ Karkat knew that it hurt Dirk and even if it was far too late, he wanted to spare him from it. ‘Will you be there?’   
  
‘Yes,’ Dirk pressed a kiss onto Karkat’s cheek, ‘I’ll be there.’ Even if it hurt, he wanted to always be there when Karkat died. ‘But what if it does work?’ Dirk asked, he rolled themselves over. Karkat looked up at him. Dirk laid his hand on Karkat’s cheek. ‘But what if it does work? What the world survives because you’re not in it anymore? We can stay here.’   
  
‘You’ll be stuck with me,’ Karkat said.    
  
There’s nothing he wanted more. ‘There’s nothing I want more,’ Dirk replied, ‘we can keep traveling.’   
  
‘Whatever we need will run out,’ Karkat said.    
  
‘Then we’ll go back and get some,’ Dirk said. ‘You don’t want to stay,’ he said softly.    
  
Karkat’s eyes widened. ‘I didn’t know I *could* stay’, he said helplessly. His breath hitched. He shut his eyes. He turned his head and cried. Dirk kissed his forehead. ‘Can I really stay? Can I really stay?’ Karkat asked through his sobs.    
  
‘You can stay as long we have,’ Dirk answered softly. Karkat cried. Dirk lied down beside him, not minding the tears. He wrapped his arms around him and laid his chin on the top of Karkat’s head, rubbing his back. Slowly, Karkat’s crying quieted then stopped.    
  
‘How long can I stay?’ Karkat asked.    
  
‘For how long as you want,’ Dirk answered. Maybe he could stay for the rest of this life. Maybe they could finally spend a life together. But he couldn’t tell him that yet.    
  
‘What if I can’t stay that long?’ Karkat asked.    
  
‘Then you go and I’ll wait for you again,’ Dirk answered.    
  
‘You can’t do that,’ Karkat whispered.    
  
‘I’ve already done it. You can’t stop me now.’   
  
‘What if you can’t stand me after all?’   
  
‘I should be the one asking you that,’ Dirk murmured, ‘and I won’t.’   
  
‘You saved me,’ Karkat said.    
  
‘By killing you,’ Dirk replied, ‘don’t thank me. I can’t take it.’ Karkat had thanked him many times before and each one had haunted him. The very first one had happened such a long time ago yet he could still remember it clearly.    
  
‘Can I really stay?’ Karkat asked. Dirk’s chest clenched at the quiet desperation in his voice.    
  
‘You can and I’ll stay with you,’ Dirk promised. He kissed the top of Karkat’s head. Karkat nodded. Dirk rolled over. He leaned down and kissed Karkat. Karkat returned it, arms coming up to wrap around Dirk’s neck. They broke the kiss. Dirk moved lower. He nuzzled then kissed Karkat’s cheek. He mouthed down his neck, Karkat’s eyelashes fluttered, his hand curled into fists. ‘Is this okay?’ Dirk asked quietly.    
  
Karkat nodded. ‘It’s ok,’ he answered. Dirk moved lower. His fingertips trailed down Karkat’s sides. Karkat shivered. Dirk unbuttoned Karkat’s pants then pulled them down. Karkat moved his legs, he kicked them away. He took off his underwear, He didn’t care where it went.    
  
He lied back down. Dirk kissed Karkat’s inner thigh then turned his head. He ran his tongue down Karkat’s slit. Karkat shivered. Dirk curled his hands under Karkat’s knees then lifted them. Karkat opened his legs wider, settling them on Dirk’s shoulders. Dirk pushed his tongue inside. He curled and uncurled his tongue and Karkat moaned. His bulge unsheathed. Dirk curled his hand around it. It    
  
They had done this before, they had done this many times before. When they finally got close enough, when he finally realized that didn't have to kill Karkat quickly, when they missed each other, when they said goodbye. All desperate moments that went by much too fast. His hand moved down to grip Dirk’s hair. ‘Dirk,’ Karkat gasped. Dirk hoped he could hear his name said like that more in the future.    
  
He licked into Karkat, squeezing his bulge gently. There was a slight bitterness on his tongue but he didn’t mind it. His thumb pressed against Karkat’s bulge as he worked his tongue deepered. Karkat moaned. ‘*Dirk*,’ he whimpered. He came. Red met Dirk’s mouth. He leaned his head back and watched as the cot turned red.    
  
Karkat panted. 'I shouldn't have done that,' he mumbled.    
  
Dirk smiled, small and soft. ‘I’m glad I did,’ he said. 

'Don't you have a bucket?' Karkat asked.

'I don't. I didn't think we'd do that,' Dirk answered. Karkat snorted. He giggled. Dirk smiled. Karkat laughed and Dirk joined, laughing with him. His chest felt warm. When was the last time he had heard that? His hand slid up Karkat’s thigh. His fingertip pressed against Karkat’s nook. ‘Okay?’ he asked.    
  
‘Ok,’ Karkat answered. His finger slid into Karkat. He pulled it out then thrusted it back in. Karkat’s breath hitched. Dirk moved his finger slowly. He looked at Karkat’s face. There was a blush on his face and his mouth was slightly open. He leaned down. Dirk kissed Karkat. Karkat pressed forward, leaning up slightly. Dirk broke the kiss. He added a second finger then twisted them slowly. Karkat’s eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks.    
  
‘Want you,’ Karkat said.    
  
Dirk shivered. ‘Want you too,’ he answered.    
  
Karkat dug his heel into the cot. ‘You-you don’t have to do that,’ he managed to say.    
  
Dirk swallowed. He knew what he meant. ‘I have to. I don’t want to hurt you,’ he said quietly. He moved his fingers in and out of Karkat then added a third finger.    
  
‘ _ Dirk _ ,’ Karkat whimpered.   
  
‘Okay,’ Dirk whispered, ‘okay.’ He spread his three fingers slowly then pulled them out. He took off his underwear and pants, throwing them away. He didn't care where they landed. He slid into Karkat. He leaned down. Dirk kissed Karkat. Karkat returned it with fervor. Dirk snapped his hips forward. The edge of desperation they had been on was left behind. They were  _ in  _ desperation now. Dirk pressed a kiss on the edge of Karkat's lips. Karkat reached up, nails raking down Dirk's back. He kissed Dirk but then it broke. Dirk kissed his cheek. Karkat wrapped his legs around Dirk.  
  
'Dirk,' Karkat gasped.   
  
Dirk kissed his forehead. 'Yeah.' He peppered kisses on Karkat's face. 'You're here, you're here with me,' he murmured. Karkat's eyes shone with tears. His breath hitched. It sounded like a sob. 'Don't cry,' Dirk said soothingly.   
  
Karkat nodded but he kept crying. He couldn’t stop crying even if he wanted to. ' _ I love you _ ,' he sobbed.. Dirk sucked in a breath. His pace went faster. Karkat moaned.   
  
'I love you, *I love you*,' Dirk said desperately. He was here, he was here with him and he wasn't going to let go.   
  
' _ Dirk _ ,' Karkat moaned. Dirk kissed him and Karkat came. Dirk felt the slurry around him and on his thighs. Dirk lied down next to Karkat, wrapping his arms around him. Karkat's legs didn't let go of him. Dirk didn't mind. They panted.   
  
Dirk felt the wetness of the cot under him. He moved his arms, picking up Karkat. He got on his knees and sat down higher on the cot. He set his chin on top of Karkat's head. 'I love you,' he whispered. Maybe it happened because they were tied together but it felt  _ real. _ All that pain and regret from killing him, how much he missed him and the relief of seeing him again. It was all real.    
  
'I'm happy that I saw you this time,' Dirk whispered. He had managed to find him this time through asking for Sollux's help. Sometimes, Karkat hid till he decided to die and he would go another life without seeing him again. He hated the lives where he'd kill him but he almost hated those lives as much too.   
  
'I'm happy that I came with you,' Karkat said. He raised his head. He leaned up and kissed Dirk. Dirk sighed into it. They kissed slowly and the minutes passed. Karkat felt Dirk inside him. 'We already made a mess,' he said.   
  
'Yeah so why not?' Dirk asked. Karkat smiled, small and soft. Dirk's eyes widened. So many years, it had been centuries and centuries, was this that ounce of true happiness? Karkat unwrapped his legs from around Dirk to kneel. Dirk's hands slid down to his hips. Karkat laid his hands on Dirk's shoulders to steady himself. He brought himself down slowly. Dirk gasped. His head fell back, resting against the wall. Karkat kissed his throat then lifted himself up.   
  
Karkat moved slowly. Dirk set his soles on the floor and rolled his hips, meeting him. Karkat moaned. Their pace was slow and steady. Karkat kissed Dirk's chin, his jaw, the space under his eyes then finally his lips. Dirk's grip on his hips tightened. Karkat slammed himself down. Dirk hissed. Karkat moved up quickly. Dirk snapped his hips up and dragged him down. Their tempo increased, the desperation coming back. Their moans mixed together. Karkat whined and he came. Red pooled around Dirk.    
  
Karkat slumped against Dirk's chest gasping. 'You can keep going,' he managed to say.   
  
'Fuck,' Dirk muttered. He rolled them over away from the red. He set Karkat against the wall gently. His hips moved against Karkat's. Karkat watched him. Sweat beaded on his forehead and dripped down his nose. Karkat laid his head on Dirk's shoulder. Dirk pressed a kiss onto the top of Karkat’s head then, with a moan, came. Some minutes passed as they caught their breath.    
  
'I think we really do need to clean up,' Karkat mumbled.   
  
Dirk chuckled. 'Yeah but we'd have to get up first,' he said. Karkat's arms around Dirk's neck didn't move. Karkat turned his head, burying his face in the crook of Dirk's neck. Dirk smiled. He picked up Karkat again and moved. He sat down away from the cot.    
  
Karkat buried his face in the crook of Dirk’s neck and Dirk rested his chin on the top of Karkat’s head.. They spent however minutes in silence. ‘I missed you,’ Karkat said.    
  
‘I missed you too,’ Dirk answered.    
  
More minutes in silence. Karkat sighed. ‘We really do need to clean up,’ he mumbled.    
  
Dirk smiled. ‘*I* need to clean up. You can stay here,’ he declared.    
  
Karkat lifted his head. ‘I should help,’ he protested.    
  
‘You can help later,’ Dirk said. He moved Karkat from his lap. Karkat moved his legs. He set them down on the floor and pressed his knees against his chest. Dirk slowly stood up. He felt an uncomfortable tingling in his leg, his leg had gone numb. He leaned against the wall and waited. Karkat put his chin on his knees. He looked up at Dirk. Dirk met his eyes. Karkat held out his hand. Dirk laid his hand on it and Karkat gave it a squeeze.    
  
Dirk regained feeling in his leg. He set his weight on it. He rolled his shoulder then gave Karkat’s hand a squeeze. Karkat let go and Dirk stepped back. He went looking for his clothes as Karkat watched him. Dirk found them and put them on. He went to look for cleaning supplies. He came back with a mop and a mop cart. Karkat snorted. ‘You brought that?’ he asked, amused.    
  
‘Yes. I couldn’t bring a bucket, Dirk said. ‘And I forgot to bring one anyway,’ he added. Karkat giggled. Dirk smiled. Maybe it was too soon but he really did feel lighter. He rolled up the cot then took it away, putting in a basket. He continued cleaning the floor. Karkat watched him.    
  
‘Hey,’ Dirk said. Karkat made a sound. ‘If you’re okay with answering, why are you so quick today?’ Dirk asked. Karkat frowned in confusion. Quick? What did Dirk me-he blushed. ‘You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,’ Dirk said quickly.    
  
Karkat was quiet. He didn’t *have to* tell Dirk but keeping that from him felt inconsequential. ‘I’ve never slept with anyone,’ he answered. Dirk nodded. Right, being the one who caused the apocalypse never left him time to get close to anyone. He stopped. ‘Dirk?’ Karkat asked.    
  
‘I slept with someone before,’ Dirk said slowly, ‘I slept with several people before.’   
  
‘Good,’ Karkat said softly.    
  
‘Is it?’ Dirk asked.   
  
‘It is,’ Karkat answered, ‘you shouldn’t wait for me and it's good that you didn't.’  
  
'I wanted to,' Dirk admitted.   
  
'That's stupid,' Karkat said.   
  
Dirk smiled.  ‘I wanted you to be upset.’ he admitted.    
  
‘How dare you, you uncouth bastard,’ Karkat said deadpan. Dirk's smile widened. He continued mopping. He finished and put it and the mop cart back. He took out another cot and a pair of clothes and returned to Karkat. He held the clothes out then set the cot down. He rolled it out. Karkat took the clothes then stood up. Dirk sat down. He stared at him as he changed. He could watch him do this as many times as he wanted, till it got boring.    
  
Karkat sat down next to Dirk. Karkat laid his head on Dirk’s shoulder. ‘What do we do now?’ he asked quietly.    
  
‘We wait,’ Dirk answered, ‘it’ll be hard but we have to wait. He wrapped his arm around Karkat’s shoulder. ‘We should go to sleep,’ he whispered.    
  
‘Did I tire you out that much?’ Karkat asked.    
  
‘Don’t start,’ Dirk said.    
  
Karkat smiled. ‘What about the ship?’   
  
‘It’s on autopilot,’ Dirk replied, ‘come on.’   
  
‘Ok,’ Karkat replied. Dirk lied down, dragging Karkat with him. Karkat went. He laid on Dirk. He rested his chin on his chest. They stared at each other. Karkat leaned up and kissed him. Dirk sighed into it. His other hand came up to lay on the back of Karkat’s head. The kiss broke. He kissed Karkat’s forehead then lied back down. He rolled over. They stared at each other until they fell asleep.    
  
There was a beeping. They both frowned. Dirk cracked his eyes open, The beeping sounded familiar. It wasn’t stopping. He scowled but rolled over slowly, laying Karkat on the cot. Karkat made a sound. He opened his eyes. ‘Go back to sleep,’ Dirk whispered. He stood up and stumbled to the beeping. Karkat sat up. He looked around.    
  
Dirk stopped in front of the instrument panel. There was a message. He opened it. Jane’s face popped up.  _ ‘It’s working!’ _ she said excitedly. Dirk’s eyes widened. He straightened, alert.  _ ‘The meteors stopped and they haven’t restarted. We have to wait a few days to be completely sure but it’s  _ good _ so far.’  _ Dirk relaxed against the pilot’s chair. Jane smiled.    
  
Dirk breathed out. He looked up. ‘We still have to wait,’ he said, ‘but it’s good so far.’    
  
_ ‘Yes,’ _ Jane said.    
  
Dirk closed his eyes. He opened them. ‘Thanks for the update.’   
  
_ ‘I’ll give you another one in a week,’ _ Jane said.    
  
‘Thanks,’ Dirk said.    
  
_ ‘Be safe out there you two,’ _ Jane said.    
  
‘I will and I’ll keep him safe,’ Dirk said. Jane hung up. Dirk rested his forehead on the top of the pilot’s seat. He breathed out. It was working. It was fucking  _ working _ . He straightened. He turned to Karkat.    
  
Karkat blinked up at him. ‘Dirk?’ he asked sleeping. Dirk went to him. He knelt in front of him. He curled his hands around Karkat’s cheeks. ‘Dirk?’   
  
‘It’s working,’ Dirk murmured.    
  
‘What?’   
  
‘A solution for this. It’s working,’ Dirk said, ‘the world isn’t ending.’    
  
Karkat looked at him in shock. ‘Really?’ he whispered.    
  
Dirk nodded. ‘Really,’ he said tearfully. Karkat hugged him, laying his head on Dirk’s chest and his arms wrapping around him. Dirk laid his chin on the top of Karkat’s head. He stared at the wall. ‘We still have to wait until the next week but it’s good so far. The world isn’t ending.’ I won’t have to kill you. ‘You can survive this. We can have this.’ Karkat nodded. He cried into Dirk’s chest.    
  
Minutes passed, Karkat’s crying slowed then stopped. ‘We can have this,’ he whispered.    
  
‘Yeah.’   
  
Karkat sighed. ‘We finally have a chance.’   
  
‘Yeah.’   
  
Karkat breathed out. ‘I’m hungry,’ he whispered.    
  
Dirk laughed. ‘Let’s get you some food,’ he said fondly. Karkat unwrapped his arms from around Dirk and Dirk moved his hands away from Karkat’s face. He slowly stood up and went to get food. They both ate.    
  
The week passed by slowly. It was nice. They talked about their lives when they could stand it, what they like, what they missed and wanted to see but mostly, they spent days wrapped around in each other. It was nice to finally be in each other’s company.   
  
The week passed by slowly. It was nice. They talked about their lives when they could stand it, what they like, what they missed and wanted to see but mostly, they spent days wrapped around in each other. It was nice to finally be in each other’s company. The call from Jane finally arrived. Nothing had happened to the planet. It was officially in the clear. Karkat leaned against Dirk. 'It's finally over?' he whispered.  
  
'Yes,' Dirk answered.  
  
'We'll still be reborn again and again,' Karkat pointed out.  
  
'Then I'll remember and I'll come get you. As many times as I have to,' Dirk promised, 'I'll do whatever I can so we can keep having this.'  
  
Karkat stared at the floor. 'I would like that.' He raised his head to look at Dirk. 'Come back for me?' he asked.  
  
'Always,' Dirk promised. Karkat sighed and it was one of relief. Maybe, just maybe, they could keep this. 


End file.
